Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
by Micaela Hollett
Growing up, my dream had always been to be an actress. I felt most myself and expressed when I was performing in school plays, writing fiction, and making groups laugh. Somewhere along the line I told myself, “that’s not something I can really do. I’m not pretty or talented enough. I don’t have the industry connections. It’s not possible, so why even try…” and the list goes on and on. I had already decided in my mind that I would fail, and suppressed that dream at all costs. My family and friends did not even know this was my passion. I wasn’t going to share with them either, since it only hurt too much that I could never accomplish what I truly wanted. Just like that, I killed my dream and sought to serve the Lord in other ways. One day it hit me; I was limiting myself and letting my fear of failure and being uncomfortable cripple me, leaving me a prisoner in my own life. I always knew God gives passions and gifts for a reason; I just had never taken it in for myself. Surely God did not give me my dream only to have me suffer by not pursing it! Once I realized this, I became inspired and asked God for confirmation, because the thought of pursing acting excited and terrified me.
The confirmations He gave me were as obvious as neon signs. I am sure God was looking down on me laughing, “Come on Micaela, don’t make me set a bush on fire to get this message through to you!!!” The most obvious signs were quite comical. The first was when a client from my devotional sales job called my direct line and was confused that I picked up. When I chuckled and said, “Of course I picked up, this is my direct line.” His response was, “I know, but God told me you were not supposed to be at this job anymore so I thought someone else would be answering.” The next was when a new client called my phone, and upon hearing my name said, “Wow, Micaela, what a perfect name for someone to be on TV.” See what I mean by neon signs?
Getting my husband on board was the tricky part, because going from a guaranteed salary to the potential of no salary, while we still had student loans, was not very appealing to him. After five months of praying and discussing, he finally agreed that it was obvious this was the next chapter of our lives. I thought having my husband on my team was all I needed to start pursuing my new career. With him on my side, and God leading the way, I could waltz right into my boss’s office, give my notice and be on my merry way. WRONG! I wanted to crap my pants! I could no longer hide behind, “I wish I was pursuing acting, but my husband is not comfortable with it financially.” I liked using him as a crutch; it was safe, and warm, and most importantly, familiar. It was in that moment I had to decide, no matter how terrified I am to step into this unknown future. I know this is my calling and to not step into it would be far worse, even though it is uncomfortable. Someone once told me, it’s a good thing to feel nervous and fearful before you take action, it means that you are alive! You are actually living your life!
It was a Monday morning when I walked into my boss’s office. I kept thinking to myself, the timing is terrible for my company to lose me, they need me here, I cannot go through with this. God whispered to me, “It is far worse for them if you stay here since this is no longer where I am calling you to be. Your time is done here, it’s time for you to move on for everyone’s sake.” I took comfort in this and held my notice out, the papers made a flapping sound as my hands shook uncontrollably. “As you can see, I am terrified to be giving you this notice right now,” I said to my boss. Since it was obvious enough, I cleared the air with acknowledging my nerves. This actually gave me power in my speaking and made us both laugh. Here is a little insight: It is okay to be nervous, most people are and just fake “not being nervous” so well! Our meeting went better than I could have hoped for, and I was able to create a schedule that worked for me and for the company.
Fast forward to now. I have been acting for two months and it is insane the doors God has already opened up. I have been on the set of a movie and several different TV shows. I also booked a lead in an VH1 music video that will be released in 2017, booked two roles for separate movies, booked a recurring role on a web series, and am communicating with a producer about the prospect of being in a commercial for a big, well known, name brand. Not only that, I have met incredible people in the film industry, and have been honored to intern at a studio where I am getting amazing training. The cherry on top is that I made half of what I would normally make at my old job IN MY FIRST MONTH!! Talk about unexpected to myself, my husband, and most of the people I told I was quitting my job to pursue acting. I still get terrified auditioning and that voice in my head does not shut up saying the same things as before “this is not something I can really do. I’m not pretty or talented enough. I don’t have the industry connections. It’s not possible, so why even try…” I thank that voice for sharing and then audition anyways. My main focus is to be myself, be unleashed, and have fun!
God gave me this time on earth for a reason, and if I let my fear hold me back it’s a slap in the face to Him and who He created me to be. I was born to act and be a light in this industry. I have no idea what the future holds for me, and that is okay. I know that no matter how I feel, (scared, sad, excited, nervous, sick, frustrated, angry, etc.) I am going to take action anyways and continue to audition, network, and most of all be Micaela – not only for myself, but for the world!
What are you called to do and passionate about but letting your fear and comfortableness keep you from pursuing? I request that you stop holding yourself back and start taking actions today, even if it is just something as small as mapping out a game plan and future actions. Remember, your passions are your passions for a reason; you have no idea the impact pursuing them will have on the world.