More Than Enough
by Kelsey Tarver
I'm 26 years old. I have felt for a while now that the Lord wanted me to start writing.. that long while actually started at age 19, but a familiar friend in fear likes to rear its ugly head usually before any real leap of faith is taken. I believe the Lord has taken me through some pretty amazing life events to lead me here, today, writing... Open, vulnerable, and honest. I am no master of literature or legendary teller of stories, but I love that God still wants me to write anyway, and so if He puts things in my heart to put on paper, I want to be brave enough to go ahead and take the leap.
If you're anything like me with dreams of any kind, starting a new job, traveling, writing a book, relationships, becoming a star athlete, etc. most dreams are partnered with a considerable amount of self depreciating thoughts...you could never do that, you aren't smart enough, you aren't exciting enough, who would want to listen to you...and the laundry list goes on. What I am embracing now is that it. is. true!! It's true that there are others way more intelligent, witty, interesting, pretty, exciting...but I can never fully embrace or lean into this beautiful life God has given me until I take a risk in deciding to trust that exactly who I am in Him is enough. Not just enough, but more than enough, and so I'm going to swallow those anxious thoughts with shaky hands, a dry throat, and just a touch of hesitation and choose to just be here, be present, be alive, and take in every sweet dream He places in my mind while I can. After all, risk taking is more fun anyway, right?
In school I would have to take another long walk to my teacher’s desk for continuously getting in trouble for "day dreaming.” My mom can laugh with me about it now that the only thing wrong on my report cards was that my head was in the clouds a bit too much. I could easily relate with Bible characters like Joseph and David who spent their days creatively lost somewhere else in the mind writing songs and having visions.
The problem for me is that I can take what are wonderful dreams and just keep them locked in my mind. It is only now later in my twenties that I feel God nudging me to be more proactive with all the dreams I have and cling to the child like faith that He loves to see. To go against my fears of inadequacy and self doubt and say to God, You created me, I did not ask to have these gifts or talents, You gave them to me because You trusted me with them and you don't long for me to keep them locked inside.
I recently read the parable of the talents in Matthew 25. In summary, a man was given 7 talents and he went out and got 7 more, another was given 2 talents and he went and found 2 more, the last man was given one and he buried it because he didn't want to lose his one talent. This struck a chord with me realizing I had been living in fear and unknowingly burying the talents God gave me due to fear of failure or losing it all together.
Let's all take a leap of faith together into the uniqueness of how God made us and be bold and daring to know that we can trust Him, because He is the one who created us with these dreams in the first place. Together we can link arms and stop comparing ourselves to one another and just take a deep breath, accepting that exactly who we were created to be is more than enough.
Kelsey is 26 years old with a Bible degree from Oklahoma Christian and writes, produces, and works on the creative staff at her church in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Her style of writing is very conversational, as if she were sitting across the table from you enjoying a cup of coffee.